Sometimes What You Do Speaks So Loud
I Can’t Hear What You’re Saying
A Father’s Day Homily
June 16, 2013
When I first started teaching, I taught elementary school. Every year in August, I would spend a considerable amount of time decorating my classroom, hoping that what I placed on the bulletin boards and walls would both reinforce the lessons that I would be teaching that year, but also would inspire my students. In hindsight, I realize now that some of the inspirational sayings that I placed there were probably too deep for seventh and eighth graders and undoubtedly went right over their heads. One of those sayings was this: Sometimes what you do speaks so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying . . . sometimes what you do speaks so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying. I don’t think there was anyone who modeled that better than St. Joseph.
I remember once being amused to hear that a certain Franciscan Theologian from the 19th Century (whose name I can’t remember) wrote a six volume “Life of St. Joseph.” Six volumes?! How could one possibly get enough material? We know so little of Joseph from Scripture. All we are left with is a shadowy figure that generally hovers in the background in paintings of the Holy Family, where he stands, anonymous and silent, faithful to his God-given job of protecting Jesus and Mary. But even though not a word of his is recorded, his actions have much to say, especially to men. And so, on this Father’s Day, we do well to reflect on eight qualities that make St. Joseph a model for manhood, for husbands and for fathers:
1. Saint Joseph was obedient. Joseph was obedient to God’s Will throughout his life. Joseph listened to the angel of the Lord explain the virgin birth in a dream and then took Mary as his wife (Matthew 1:20-24). He was obedient when he led his family to Egypt to escape Herod’s infanticide in Bethlehem (Matthew 2:13-15). Joseph obeyed the angel’s later commands to return to Israel (Matthew 2:19-20) and settle in Nazareth with Mary and Jesus (Matthew 2:22-23). How often does our pride and willfulness get in the way of our obedience to God?
2. Saint Joseph was selfless. In the limited knowledge we have about Joseph, we see a man who only thought of serving Mary and Jesus, never himself. What many may see as sacrifices on his part, were actually acts of selfless love. His devotion to his family is a model for fathers today who may be allowing disordered attachments to the things of this world distort their focus and hinder their vocations.
3. Saint Joseph led by example. None of his words are written in Scripture, but we can clearly see by his actions that he was a just, loving and faithful man. We often think that we primarily influence others by what we say, when so often we are watched for our actions. Every recorded decision and action made by this great saint is the standard for men to follow today.
4. Saint Joseph was a worker. He was a simple craftsman who served his neighbors through his handiwork. He taught his foster son Jesus the value of hard work. It is likely that the humility Joseph exhibited in recorded Scripture spilled over into the simple approach he took to his work and providing for the Holy Family. We can all learn a great lesson from Saint Joseph, who is also the patron saint of workers, on the value of our daily work and how it should exist to glorify God, support our families and contribute to society.
5. Joseph was a man whose vocation is more important than his career. When he was warned by an angel in a dream to leave Bethlehem and travel to Egypt so that Jesus and Mary would safely escape the jealous wrath of King Herod, Joseph may well have had much to lose in that flight. Back in Nazareth he had a career But Joseph was a father and husband before he was a businessman. His child was threatened and his first obligation was to Jesus and Mary. His vocation outweighed his career. In a culture like ours where too many parents make their careers and livelihoods paramount, Joseph points the way for parents: vocation has priority over career. For fathers especially Joseph shows that a man is a husband and father before he is a businessman.
6. Joseph was a teacher. We learn from Scripture that Jesus too was a carpenter (Mk 6:3). It is obvious that it was Joseph who taught this trade to Jesus. It is not enough for a father to provide for his children, he must also prepare them for life. He does this through modeling and teaching discipline, moderation, hard work, self-control, and many other life skills. In our times it is more rare for fathers to teach a trade to their sons or other children. But in the end it’s more important that a man prepares his children for life.
7. Joseph was a protector. Joseph also models a protective instinct that parents should have. Our children, like Jesus was, are exposed to many dangers. Our American scene does not feature a lot of physical dangers but moral dangers surely abound. Fathers, what are your children watching on TV? What are their Internet habits? Who are their friends? What do your children think about important moral issues? Are you preparing them to face the moral challenges and temptations of life? Are you teaching them the faith along with your wife? Or are you just a passive father, uninvolved in the raising of your children? A man protects his children from harm, physical, moral and spiritual. Joseph shows forth this aspect of manhood.
8. Saint Joseph was a leader. But, not in the way we may view leadership today. He led as a loving husband when he improvised to find a stable for Mary to give birth to Jesus, after being turned away from the Bethlehem inn. He led as a man of faith when he obeyed God in all things, took the pregnant Mary as his wife and later brought the Holy Family safely to Egypt. He led as the family provider by working long hours in his workshop to make sure they had enough to eat and a roof over their heads. He led as a teacher by teaching Jesus his trade and how to live and work as a man.
I recently read a story that I think beautifully conveys the qualities that God desires fathers to possess . . qualities so evident in St. Joseph. It’s called, “When God Created Fathers”:
When the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame. And an angel nearby said, "What kind of Father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping." And God smiled and said, "Yes, he needs to kneel and be humble and besides if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"
And when God made a Father's hands, they were large and sinewy. And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do you know what you're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats." And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day...yet small enough to cup a child's face in his hands."
And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. And the angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?" And God smiled and said, "Yes, I'll give him a lap, for both a dad and a mom need a lap big enough for holding. But a dad can also use strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?" And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now, there's a dad!"
As Catholic men, we have a responsibility to be strong fathers and husbands, leaders in our parishes, good stewards in the community and humble followers of Christ. Let’s look to the inspiring example of Saint Joseph, patron saint of fathers, workers and the Universal Church for his obedience, humility, selflessness, courage and the love he showed to Mary and Jesus. If we can emulate St. Joseph even a little each day, we will be that much closer to becoming the men we are called to be.
