Nunc Dimittis
A Reflection on the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord
“Now, Master, you may let your servant go
in peace, according to your word,
for my eyes have seen your salvation,
which you prepared in sight of all the peoples,
a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
and glory for your people Israel.” (Luke 2: 29-32)
Indeed, Master, of your salvation, my eyes have seen, my ears have heard, my soul has felt, and my mouth has tasted.
Yes, I have seen your salvation. I have seen it in the innocence and hope of the young, and in the elderly, whose eyes are beacons of grace. I saw it in the Mother whose own deep and unshakable faith shaped mine and in the example of the Father I regret I did not imitate better. I discovered you in the eye contact, the nod, the smile, the embrace of the few, when the many turned away, hid their glance, shook their head and would not touch the leprous sinner that I became. I have seen you in the hand outstretched to feed the hungry, to give drink to the thirsty, to cloth the naked; the hand that shakes the hand of the lonely and the stranger; the arms outstretched that embrace the unloved and the sinner, those imprisoned by walls of exclusions, and those who are sick and tired of life as they know it. And I have seen you in those who suffer, those in need, for they are you. I have seen your salvation each time the bread was broken and the cup blessed; in the faces of the two or three, and in the two or three hundred, who have gathered in your name; in the deep faith of those who I see kneeling, sitting, standing, praying, praising, giving and receiving, gathered around your altar - those who have given to me as I feebly attempted to give to them. I have seen it in your subtle and quiet presence when peace and joy and contentment and fullness took away my emptiness, loneliness, self-loathing and fear. And it has widened my eyes and filled them with wonder and awe in times when you revealed your presence to me in the extraordinary, the bold, the miraculous.
Yes, Master, and I have heard your salvation. I have heard your word, the Word of Wisdom and of Truth proclaimed in pulpits, in classrooms, living rooms, during Sunday worship and in everyday conversation. Words that taught me. Words that inspired me. Words that consoled me. Words that challenged me. Words that filled me with peace but Words that also conflicted me. Words which caused me to realize the depth of my guilt, but Words that also welled up deep sorrow, regret and contrition within me. Words of absolution declaring my sin, not only forgiven, but forgotten. Words which have allowed me to experience your mercy, and Words that prompted me to be merciful. Rather than words of bitterness or condemnation, I receive your Words of encouragement that strengthen me whenever I fall to sin. Words of love when I have not deserved it, and Words of chastisement when I did. Words of compassion and hope when that was lacking in the words of others. Words of consolation in my struggles, and Words which offered encouragement amidst the skepticism of others and my own self-doubt. Your Voice - mighty yet gentle, understanding yet challenging. I heard it when it beckoned me to come follow you, and then invited me to wash feet in your name; your Voice that bids me to take up my cross daily - weighing heavily, digging deeply, into my shoulders and back; your Voice which commands me to love as you love, to forgive as you forgive, to serve as you serve. I have heard you in quiet moments of prayer, but also amidst the cacophony of anger, bitterness, division, accusation, violence, hatred, war - your Voice calling out for love and understanding, for compassion, and inclusion, for peace and justice. I have heard your Voice disguised in the words of praise, support, love, comfort in the angels you sent to be my companions on this earthly journey. You have put your words into the mouth of others to be prophets to speak your inspirations, your wisdom, your consolation, your encouragement, your will.
Yes, I have felt your salvation, Master. I have felt your warmth in the summer sun upon my face. Felt your gentleness in an evening breeze. Felt your power in wind and storm. I have experience you in ways which defy language, in ways that words cannot do justice to your overwhelming embrace of peace and love, of inexplicable joy and exhilaration, both in moments of solitude and moments of community. You are, indeed, a God of surprises, whose presence comes when least expected and whose miraculous intervention has broken into my world and into my life. You are Emmanuel, not just "God with us," but God with ME. I have felt your strength in my weakness, your mercy in my guilt, your unconditional love in my wretchedness, your peace in my darkest moments, your presence when everyone else abandoned me, your confidence in me in moments of self-doubt. You have sent your angel to be my companion, guardian and guide on the winding, uneven, torturous roads I have trod. Your saints have sat with me in my solitude to comfort and inspire me. You have sent Simon of Cyrenes to help me carry the weight of the crosses I have born, and good friends too, who have carried me to the housetop, thrown off the roofing planks, and lowered me down before you so that I may experience your forgiveness and your healing. How do I find the words to sing of the gift of your divine presence which has shattered my darkness, my fear and anxiety, my grief and loneliness, my physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological pain? How does one express what it is like to be absorbed in inexplicable mystery, surrounded by pure light and loved with a love that transcends any and all human love? How can I speak of feeling a mercy so deep, so rich, so complete, when the rest of the world struggles to forgive me and when I can't forgive myself?
And Master, I have tasted your salvation. I have tasted the wine of graciousness and the abundant bread of blessing which you have multiplied to excess from mere morsels. I have been nourished by Word and by Sacrament; by the bread of life and the cup of eternal salvation; food and drink that become one with me, that allow me to share in your divinity, you who humbled yourself to share in our humanity. Bread and wine that have been transformed so that I might be transformed. Food that enables my flesh, my blood, my bones, my sinew, my muscles, every cell of my being to become holy as you are holy. Yes, Master, I have eaten and been satiated.
And so, Master, you may let your servant go in peace. For I have seen, I have heard, I have felt and I have tasted. And I yearn to see, to hear, to feel and to taste perfectly and for all eternity in your kingdom which, I pray, awaits me.
